Relationships can be fun and exciting. They can make you feel loved, supportive and safe. Unfortunately, not all relationships are so magically positive. It is very difficult to protect yourself from getting involved with a person who can suddenly become violent with you. Wouldn't it be nice if these people wore the same thing so we would know exactly who to stay away from? In reality, these people look like everybody else. Violent offenders are your school teachers, policemen, successful doctors and lawyers, only to mention a few examples. These people can appear wonderfully spirited on the surface, but beware.

My sister, Bonnie, met a great guy one day. She bragged endlessly about him. His name was Jim. I thought I was such a great judge of character. I got a fairly good impression of the this guy: a real nice sense of humor, polite, considerate, friendly, and well-mannered. I thought they looked really good togehter. My family approved of him as well. He had a wonderful personality. No matter how bummed out I got, he could manage to cheer me up by making me laugh.

He was a strong man with a good size build. He had strong values such as respecting his family, a strong faith in God and he was a good friend to us all. He looked out for everybody.

For example, I remember feeling frightened because there was a girl in Junior High that wanted to fight me. She was as big as a moose and I needed some help. Jim taught me a few techniques in case I needed to defend myself. I began to feel safe because he had given me the confidence to be strong.

I admired his strong love for animals. He had two horses that he cared for very much.

His sincerity intrigued me. However, I would occasionally notice his bold protectiveness toward the people he cared for most, mainly my sister, Bonnie. At the time, I viewed it as sincere. For example, one night he told Bonnie that he didn't want her to walk home from work anymore. I thought it was good that he worried and that he waslooking out for her best interest.

Bonnie and Jim began to see more of each other, and my family and I were quickly growing closer to Jim. He was beginning to feel like part of the family. He was like a big brother to me.

bonnie and I have a close friendship. We confide in one another and communicate openly when a conflict arises. She began to behave strangely. She was suddenly withdrawn and could be found alone expressing her thoughts through writing.

I knew something was wrong with her. I couldn't get her to speak to me and I felt extremely frustrated. i could not help. When Jim came over the house to visit, he didn't seem to act differently. He was friendly and I assumed there wasn't a problem.

However, Jim was the only problem in Bonnie's life. He had been mentally and physically abusing her for quite some time. She could not leave the house without his proper permission. He ran her off the road one day because she drove to the store without his consent. She felt imprisoned within her own mind. He had been controlling her every move. She continued to try to leave him. It was out of the question.

Things got so terrible. I grew greatly accustomed to fearing for my sister's life. He desperately tried to marry her with the idea of controlling her forever. His rich father had been building a beautiful mansion in which they would spend their lives together: Bonnie's nightmare.

This whole ordeal was very difficult for Bonnie to deal with. A part of him she loved, the other part she feared. My family and I continued to support her as best as we could. We were there for her, to listen and prtect her from him, but it was difficult. We felt as though we were on our own. The police were no help to us at all.

Jim continued to threaten us with suicide. He also threatened to take Bonnie far away from us. I recall a haunting quote from him, "If I can't have Bonnie, no one will!"

I can still recall him standing nervously in our driveway screaming to the top of his lungs, crying pathetically.

One particular night will stay with me forever. Bonnie and I were alone in the house when Jim stumbled in. He locked Bonnie in her bedroom. She was screaming. I was on the other side of her door with Bonnie's German Sheperd, Asheena, who was nervously barking. She wanted to protect her too. When the door opened, Bonnie ran out, her face drenched with tears. Jim ran after her and violently forced her into his car. I felt incredibly helpless. I remember wondering whether I'd ever see my sister safe again. I knew that if she'd be lucky enough to overcome this, she would never be the same again.

That night, he raped her. He thought that if he got her pregnant, she would finally marry him. Well, she did become pregnant, but she knew better than to marry him.

By some precious miracle from god, Jim left our lives for good, although it was a gradual process. I don't know why or how things got better but they did.

Bonnie is now an excellent mother to her beautiful son, Jamie. She is a single mother and she is happy. She still needs to work things out in her head before she can totally trust again.

I still fear for her. There's always that chance that Jim could spontaneously jump into our lives once again. Although it has been six years, we are still, even now, just living one day aat a time.

I came out of this experience with the realization that no one should take anyone for granted. We should treat one another as though we might never see them again. I could have lost my sister.